Lately I feel like want to share lots of things on my mind. I don't know why i have such wierd feeling. Like I have something that has been hidden in my heart for years. Whenever i want to speak it out, I will have the feel that want me to remain silence. because i know that maybe nobody will understand me. Even myself also can't translate what i was thinking on my mind. Within myself there was hidden a depression. That depression make me feel that my life is still not complete. Whenever i feel free, a sense of vanity will be felt. And what make it worse is that i does not know what my heart really want.
Although it sounds wierd, but sometimes i will feel like this, like:" Ai... Today i can't get the things i want, look how misery of me......" But sometimes i will start to enjoy such self-pitiness. And feel like want to make the world feel that i am a pity guy. A wierd human sense though..... Maybe that's how the " negative feel" came from.......
But it is really an unfair assumption to think myself like that. There are many more people who are living in a harder circumstance than me right now. It is really unfair to label myself " pity"!! Maybe i just struggle to find another channel to express my unhappiness. That doesn't mean that i am negative minded. If think like that, I can realise that i am not an unhappy person, I am just a person who want to express my problem to others. That's all.
" You Think, Therefore you are." That's a word which i learnt from my friends. And lately i study the book " Law of Attraction". I even more agreed with such assumption. And believe it or not, there IS a law of attraction which surrounds us. Everytime our mind will exert one frequence once a time. Whenever we are feel depress, we only exert negative frequency, which will eventuall absorb negative things into our energy field. So we just to need to change the channel to positive frequence, we will experience the different results.
Our mind is just like a radio. Our antenna will only absorb frequencies which we are thinking on our mind. Weather is positive or negative. Well to me. It is hard to always think positive. So to me, let's just be ourselves and live with a happy mind. And if we encounter the problems, the law can be carried out and be applied. And we think positive is not a job which is telling lie to ourself, (If we think like that we only will exert more negative frequency..) It is just like yoga, which help us cleanse our mind and be ourself again....... Wait what was i babbling about...?? Got problem go sleep la. Get a moment of eye close.. Zzzzzzz...........
Friday, April 24, 2009
Thursday, April 23, 2009
The decision is final. Maybe......
Jimmy said to me this afternoon, that the application outcome for Nanyang Technological university has released. I was full with hope and suprise, that the day of decision has come. So with full hope i go to online and check the status. And the statement really bother me then....
" Your application is still under consideration, The application result will be notified as late as July 2009"
Say WHAT???? Jimmy already get the result already and i still haven't know yet?? That means... I now is competiting with other university entries holders within the region di like Vietnam, Thailand, Indonesia........We Malaysia already have 4 different test holder like UEC, A-Level, STPM,Australian Matriculation pun ada! I just so like "omg!!" Is it that my chance is over? Or i am in the secondary consideration list.....??
Even i manage to enter, will i manage to survive? Or will i end up suicide there? (Choi!! Touch WOOD!!.........)For those reason, willing or not, i may go to study at utar........ My friend give me a thumb down for my decision, say that :"U deserved better university", "U can take the HELP or MMU, "U should wait for the local university!! Or u study form 6 for what..??".....etc The wave of rejection is huge, and i so like " Man!! Money oso give liao, what to do....??" Till KJ gt confort me, gt stand up for my decision. (Thanks for that. Hehe.......) I think my plan is like that For May and June then, and here's what on my mind......
First 2 weeks of May: Go KL training
Last 2 week sof May: Go out and hang out with friends
May 28th: Back to KL for Utar entry registeration
May~July: Study at UTAR while wait for application outcome for both local and Singapore university
That is my plan 1st. It still might change with the trend. See what will happen at May till July........
" Your application is still under consideration, The application result will be notified as late as July 2009"
Say WHAT???? Jimmy already get the result already and i still haven't know yet?? That means... I now is competiting with other university entries holders within the region di like Vietnam, Thailand, Indonesia........We Malaysia already have 4 different test holder like UEC, A-Level, STPM,Australian Matriculation pun ada! I just so like "omg!!" Is it that my chance is over? Or i am in the secondary consideration list.....??
Even i manage to enter, will i manage to survive? Or will i end up suicide there? (Choi!! Touch WOOD!!.........)For those reason, willing or not, i may go to study at utar........ My friend give me a thumb down for my decision, say that :"U deserved better university", "U can take the HELP or MMU, "U should wait for the local university!! Or u study form 6 for what..??".....etc The wave of rejection is huge, and i so like " Man!! Money oso give liao, what to do....??" Till KJ gt confort me, gt stand up for my decision. (Thanks for that. Hehe.......) I think my plan is like that For May and June then, and here's what on my mind......
First 2 weeks of May: Go KL training
Last 2 week sof May: Go out and hang out with friends
May 28th: Back to KL for Utar entry registeration
May~July: Study at UTAR while wait for application outcome for both local and Singapore university
That is my plan 1st. It still might change with the trend. See what will happen at May till July........
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Busy...? Lazee....?
My friends usualy will ask me a simple question:" So how are you doing lately." And my reply is tat i keep leisuring at home. I couldn't refresh what am i doing for past few weeks. But then, my parents keep nagging me that i does not spending time at home very much, keep go out and come back late. Well the statement is true.... And now.. I try to list some new and crazy things i have experienced which i can remember...
1. There is one night i come back home at 2am midnight because i watch midnight movie with friends.
2. I drive as far as Nibong Tebal and Kepala Batas for 1st time
3. My first car accident ever since i start driving
4. I go to Kelantan 4 times in a month. (And my first driving experience at Kota Bharu.)
5. First time i witness hyperactive children and how they behave
6.There is one time i go out from home at 9am morning and come back home at 11.30pm night. (Realy crazy though..)
7.I witness 3 car accidents in a month (Is it luck or.......??)
8.My first hill hiking at Bukit Tekun ( I never know it located near my house....!!)
9. There is one time i go watch 3 movies in 3 days continuously.... ( Gee what a waste..!)
10.There is a week when i fuel up my car twice a week! ( And i have a big explanation for my dad)
11.There is a week when i only spend my time having dinner with my parents only once in a week.
12. I have passed through USM branches at Kota Bharu, Penang and Nibong Tebal di......
13. I have written 6 English essays in applying scholarships...... ( I get bad temper that time because of that..)
I now start counting the holidays left on my hand. I won't get as much leisuer time as i want to later di... I now start to tresure every moment i have on my hand. Hope that i won't waste it again...
1. There is one night i come back home at 2am midnight because i watch midnight movie with friends.
2. I drive as far as Nibong Tebal and Kepala Batas for 1st time
3. My first car accident ever since i start driving
4. I go to Kelantan 4 times in a month. (And my first driving experience at Kota Bharu.)
5. First time i witness hyperactive children and how they behave
6.There is one time i go out from home at 9am morning and come back home at 11.30pm night. (Realy crazy though..)
7.I witness 3 car accidents in a month (Is it luck or.......??)
8.My first hill hiking at Bukit Tekun ( I never know it located near my house....!!)
9. There is one time i go watch 3 movies in 3 days continuously.... ( Gee what a waste..!)
10.There is a week when i fuel up my car twice a week! ( And i have a big explanation for my dad)
11.There is a week when i only spend my time having dinner with my parents only once in a week.
12. I have passed through USM branches at Kota Bharu, Penang and Nibong Tebal di......
13. I have written 6 English essays in applying scholarships...... ( I get bad temper that time because of that..)
I now start counting the holidays left on my hand. I won't get as much leisuer time as i want to later di... I now start to tresure every moment i have on my hand. Hope that i won't waste it again...
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