Good Morning

Notting Gonna Change My Love For You by 方大同
Hey good morning~~!! Today I really feel good. I have sleep for 9 hours today, when wake up straight open facebook and online, and only later have school at 12pm. It is indeed a relaxing morning. But later i need to go to take the book i ordered to photostat outside. Taking a warm breeze of air make me feel that i am back again~!

Oh My Goodness~~~!!!!

I was total surprise, a friend of mine who are same age with me are already reaching year 3! I feel that he is a good leader and example for me~~ And my dear kj lh tom too. They have learn much more than me. I feel that I have been left out a lot in everything. During that time I really got blame myself why I was wasting so much time at f6..

But think back again even I study foundation of matriculation or whatever, I feel that I am still not ready that time since that I was pampered quite a lot at home. Therefore I am really fighting hard to chase their ability now. I should not feel that I have learn a lot or something, because I still being dumped quite hard at the back. However even though I go to learn the external knowledge I must not forget to keep chasing my current sem syllabus, I don't want to repeat the nightmare which happen at Solid and Maths test... Gambatte to me~~!!!

During the robotic activity I was having allergic again.... Skin allergic. Even that i can choose to go home, but I still want to stay at the workshop, because I damn love robotic~~!!! But I didn't do much because I cant concentrate.... But I still want to learn more... I don't want be so blur again at there next time~~!!! Now i am doing my report of the G clamp. Tomorrow I will having experiment again....

说谎，林宥嘉
Today I dun want to go out anywhere, I am alone at home again, purposely. I lazy to play badminton with friends or go to the church with brothers today.........Today i finally give a great time to interact with myself, no any other people at home, but me =). There is going to be a rain outside later, but i dont care, I just listening song everyday, download my ebooks, and watch movies. A great day without going anywhere. =) I feel relax, totally, today i will start to regenerate myself again for another big day..

Sometimes it is very important to give trust to people, especially people who are around you. They like a mirror, reflects what you are giving to them. Therefore if trust them enought, share with them what you have....( Hey why I suddenly crap this stuff =.=)

Terrible!

Terrible terrible terrible! Today i did a terrible test! Even though i did got prepare, I feel that i am not good! But that's a good sign, I wont feel that i am so capable after all. I will start focus in study after a long time busy around with the assignment. I will going to retune my study time. And keep distraction as much as possible. Now is to keep up confidence to keep moving! ( But no matter how busy, I wont give up my robotic activity, i damn love it =)...... )

我愿意by王菲
The test is just tomorrow, and i still dont like study, I just try some questions and testing that i am really okay or not. I dont even know where is the venue and time for the test! It is already 1am and i am still online here. I think i have to a certain extend addicted to internet..

I simply love tis song, a simple lyric, a simple rhythm, but a romantic and a heart melting melody. It make my mood feel relax and no more pressure. Tomorrow I will have Japanese class and a Solid Test, add oil for me again~~~

1st Post of the year

These fews days is a very very busy moment for me, but still i want to find a place to shout out ba.
Ohya this is the 1st post of the year. haha.. ( Clap hand, clap clap...) Well I not really feel happy, but think back, is happy the thing i want, If i am keep chasing happiness, i will only bring more unhappiness to me. So I just be myself with a normal mood. With a bunch of Freaking and Fucking assignments and test on my table. Even so I still like my busy life. I feel like I am learning, i like busy, maybe because I am not like lonely. Anyway, I am just speaking nonesnse. If feel want to sleep di just close this post, beacuse this conversation is only talk to myself after all.

Lately I am busy with the Robotic society and the Church activities, And yes, these 2 gang are really smart to make me busy like shit, and i luck for me, I only need a small entertainment to relax myself. So just take a sip of the water and watching anime and laugh for next half hour, and go back to do 2 EIS assignments. Later will deal with the Japanese, Dynamics assignment, with a package of Dynamics and Manifacture reports, not to forget the cumming Solid Mechanics test and oh if i ever forget, Maths test. Yes i am fucking freaking out because These particular event will only happen in 2 weeks time. So I have to busy like shit. But never will i let go any kind of robotic event. Because I damn love it.

So now, I feel myself complicated, just because I am sensitive, and I always afraid this ppl feeling and that ppl feeling, yes yes I am afraid everythingzzzz.....But after all, maybe this is just another way of me to handle stuff. or i should say systematic in complexity. But I just want a simple life. With someone who can care about me and assist me. And I just need to concentrate to make things done. I never afraid homework pressure. Because I like it. But i afraid to handle troubles. When feel notting I can call, I call upon Lord's name and calling a call back home. But anyway I feel i want to settle these things myself, and so I lazy to call again. And craping at here.

So am I finding trouble to myself? Yes it is. So what should I do? Notting. So what now? Just shut up and get back to work, because at the time you finish your things it is time for a simple good night sleep. The end.

Ps: I am so happy my sis get 8A's in her SPM, her effort has been paid. And the end of secondary school life for me and my sis. So i will never drive back to Jit sin again. I wont smell back those f6 life so hard again. Love you sis

The year end is coming. There is muych to say about this year. There is lots of drastical change which experienced by me this year. From working to going to university then having my first love. This is all are awesome. This year is playing an important moment too to me. However it is not totally a lucky year. But anyway I have pass this year too, and i have reach 20th.

This year, especially recently i was giving a great exposure about my lifestyle, especially my love life. It is ironic, really. I dont know how to share much about this but i can tell that i am back to single again, and the girl i have long chase before is no longer available for me anymore. I fell like i like a shit. A dumped shit. Maybe i was never granted to have these love matter after all. I have tired. I dont want to touch this thing anymore. This is a horrible experience. I keep my real personality a lot for this matter.

The Christmas is just passby. And passing the Gurney drive, i see lots of couple. And i saw lots of couple hangging around. And looking back to my love life, it is like a contrast. I once want to be part of them. But it is impossible maybe. Maybe i can called myself kia shu (afraid to lost). But talking about love. I am loyal. However I am not good, and probably ugly, or i am ugly.

Lord give me such exposure. He want to send me a message that this is what He called love. When you turned out to keep thinking of somebody, you miss her. And that's the same way He miss me, and every precious vessel on His hand. He want to tell me about this. He want me to know what is He thinking right now, that is want me to know what is " love Him". "Love Him" also include " Miss Him". Missing Him and eagering to hear Him and see Him. He always serve me quietly, and want me to serve to other people, and that's the gospel He preach to me. Living a Church life is not easy. That's why i seldom live that life. But now, I just want a quiet life, which doesnt eagering for lust or self righteousness anymore. I just want back to the church life again.

I dont want to think about those love matters anymore. They are not real to me after all...

And by the way, I don't celebrate any Christmas, because the Bible never say anything about Christmas, not to mention the birth of Christ at 25th Dec. And what's more, the Bible didn't tell us to remember His incarnation, but remember His death and resurrection =) And that what's Lord's Table meeting talking about in every Lord's day. (But i didn't attend lately =.=)

As An Engineer Today

I just heard that the news that engineers are getting lesser salary than the technician. I confess that the technician is certainly more experienced in particular area than the engineers, however, i didn't expect that much. I think it is quite related with the current trend which most of the engineer headed. Actually every technician which has a great skills are more likely to be enployed than the engineers. This is because most of the engineers today are too " theorical". They are lack of the 1st hand of practical experience than most of the technicians. The company can operate without engineer, but the company can't operate without technician! Well sounds hurting, but this is the fact. I believe most of the the engineers today don't even know how to fix their water pipe in their back yard!

I saying this is not criticising the engineers, but must keep in mind, especially those fresh gradurates, that they must see the full picture what is the industry demanding, and the influence of their ability to the society! The cgpa in the campus will become useless when coming out to the society! The knowledge they gained is a gift, a power to change the system of the society! This is what most of the technician does not gifted! Engineers are given the tools to shape and overcome the crisis which faced by the industry today! To become a good engineer is not to become success or influential, but can keep the system of the society running with their gifted knowledge! Most of the engineers are hunger for achievement, hunger for success. That's why they failed to think out of the box! They failed to make a big impact in today's technological field! They refuse to keep up with the latest trend! They willing to allocate more time to earn money that doing the research! I dont know what makes me to write things about that, but before gradurate, i must understand what the industry want to keep up with the society!

Just like this:" If today show up 2 guys, one know how to fix the computer while the other who only know how to talk nonsence about the architecture of the chip in every single chip of computer, Who's more needed to fix the computer??"

Just an ordinary day

These days I have some bad feeling which I don’t know how to describe. Somethings wrong with me. Lately I easily fed up for some simple mistakes. In short, I become short tempered lately.I wonder what is happening on me. Even when I live in KL, I also easily fed up. This is not really my character when I was before. I want to understand myself more before it became worsen. Have a cup of coffee and cool down first.

One of the reason that I discover is that when I am looking at the laptop for a long time I will easily get fed up. Maybe is the brightness setting. But I have already set to its minimum amplitude and it is still like irritating my eyes. I will forced to use the screen protector even though I haven’t found my laptop screen size yet and the screen will show some pop up bubble when I stick on the screen later.

Ohya lately I am working on a storyline which based on the life which happening on me in f6. …….I want to jolt down all the detail which happen at past.

My sis is having exam soon, and I am worry about her, superb! She didn’t do much pass year question and when I tell her, she just respond like is respond :” Ah na Ah na..” And when she is study, her handphone always stick on her hand and always call her friends. Even the test is only 2 days left she still want to go to school just to pass some notes to her friends. I cant tell what’s next, well just all rest on her hand.

ENJOY AND ENJOY!!!!

These 2 days..... I stay at home and doing NOTTING!! Yay~~~~~~ Now i feel like i am having a nice holiday break~~~~~~ Really start feel enjoy. Now, erase those problem rotating on my mind, get a spoonful of ice cream put into my cup, and eat it while enjoy watching the tv show that i like it the most, then i go upstairs and start read my favourites books. When tired, I go to sleep~~~~~ till dinner, and then online till late late, and wake up in other day~~~~~~~~~ hehehe........

UTAR and everything bout it. Zzzzzz........

One more week left before my depart to kl. Now what i need to do left...?

Ah yes........ I go search the google earth and see where it located. Well apparently to me, it looked quite small compare to ktar.........

Well on the right side of the silver building, it is UTAR building. And on the left is KTAR building......I just confused... Did they just share the building? Or the KTAR really that big....??( Or is UTAR really tat small....??)

Ahem.... that's nt the point.... Nw i should preparing the things like.... Who am i going with? My family or my friend? Hw long will stay with my friend? What things should i take? and etc etc.... Even my parents start to compare my mechatronic course with mechanical, and Monash with Utar. Really sick of keep explaining to them~~~~~~ Now i really miss my holiday~~~~ aiz......

ok ok stop reminding my holiday again!!!! Now the future is going and going~~~~~ 人生有多少个十年？？If i dont know hw to appreciate it, I will sorry for myself. At least I tell myself, This long break changed me a lot. I learn from it. And it have become my stepping stone to grow up!! So stop flashback to it!! hahahaha.........(Going Kelantan 5 times a month is , to my friends, is nuts.... But to me, amen!!) hahaha..........

Ohya, i will looking forward to meet some of my friends there. hahaha..........

My car and Myself......

This is a True story

about my car

It accompany me since i was standard 5

that time it was my mum who drove it.

But that's another story...

I seldom feel this car existance

Till at 11th June 2007

I get my first P lisence

So my dad allow me to drive it

and tell me that from that day onward

I drive that car to school EVERY DAY

Well i didn't dare to look at the wheel.

I felt a big responsibility hanging on my shoulder.

And all the story was started

When i first step on the padel...

So I may ask

What is so special about this car?

Why i need to state it.

I tell you

Ever since i start driving,

never a day i stop from driving

I almost driving everyday for 2 years di.......

I was given lots of responsibility

going to lots of place

Because of this car

my social circle grew bigger drastically

I drive

From Bukit Mertajam

To Seberang Jaya

From Butterworth

To Penang

From Nibong Tebal

To Kepala Batas

From enjoying driving from the start

To hate driving in the end...

However it is an influencial experience

because i almost spend at least 2 hours per day

driving around Bukit Mertajam.

It is an dilemma

I like this experience eventually

Because i wont get this chance to drive that much after next week anymore......

When i remind about my car

I remind about my f6 life

To be honest i really miss f6 life.....

Even though i really hate it

It keeps reminds me

how desperate that time i want to escape that life

Everyday go to school like go to hell

Not much people will understand how hard and desperate i past these hard moments.....

I even started to consider shifting my f6 to foundation at mmu.

But i stay eventually , and give me the greatest suffer of all time...

And ever since that time

I never believe in fairy tales

I does not deserve to have one, not at all.

Almost along my school life at f6

I am not happy......

But also give me the hardest experience that i ever forget!!

These 2 years is just like a dream

just like yesterday

I think no one of my friend will dream of f6

like me EVERYDAY

In my memory

f6 like yesterday, and it will never faded.

And my car is helping me remembering my f6 every moment......

A wierd and hard day

Ok today i encounter lots of things that i can't even imgine that it will happen on me. And here is what it is..

1. Today I can't start my car engine. Dunno why. Maybe is the car battery is almost finish, or the petrol which i fueled has bubbles inside the engine starting kit. Just then the alarm suddenly turn on by itself!! I just like omg! And i want to close it but fail. And the irritating sound keep on and on, and disturbing the neighbourhood! I feel so like want to find a hole and put my head inside it! But then the alarm will stop. I thought is over. Just then, when i open the door, the alarm sound up again!! and wait for one minute for it to shut up by itself. And what make things more desperate, I want to have lunch outside! And i didn't eat my breakfast! So with no choice, i walk out and go find the nearest retaurant. And walk under the big sun is susah my skin!! (T.T)
2. Today morning when i woke up, suddenly i saw a bird fly into my room!! I just shock till wake up. Flying in a small room, itseems like flying in a high speed. And i feel that it is impossible to fly into my rom because the upstair is like sealed. There is no holes for it to fly in! I try to get it away but fail. So i just go downstairs and prepare a long plastic stick, try to make some noice to scare it away. But then, i get a call from my friends. And after finish the call, i back to buisness. And thank God that the bird is dissapear di. But sad that it leave a shit as a gift for me. Me really "haiz".......
3. My mum is going for a surgery. So i was force to redraw myself from the trip to kl for 2 weeks. And she will need to stay at hospital start from wednesday. And I will then in charge of the duty at home. Really so sudden! And add more loneliness at my home(T.T)
4. During afternoon, i get a phone call from Hong Kong, saying that i get 2nd prize for getting the lottery. Teorically i no need to believe, but in my heart, i still have the desire to believe it! I feel that it is not right! And like i am greedy and eventually i will get tricked. I must turn to the Lord. And must believe that money can't drop from the sky by itself!!

Ok!!! Back to buisness~~~!!! Like thinking that today incidents is jokes to me ok di!!!! Wahahahahaha..........

Mixed feel about life

Lately I feel like want to share lots of things on my mind. I don't know why i have such wierd feeling. Like I have something that has been hidden in my heart for years. Whenever i want to speak it out, I will have the feel that want me to remain silence. because i know that maybe nobody will understand me. Even myself also can't translate what i was thinking on my mind. Within myself there was hidden a depression. That depression make me feel that my life is still not complete. Whenever i feel free, a sense of vanity will be felt. And what make it worse is that i does not know what my heart really want.

Although it sounds wierd, but sometimes i will feel like this, like:" Ai... Today i can't get the things i want, look how misery of me......" But sometimes i will start to enjoy such self-pitiness. And feel like want to make the world feel that i am a pity guy. A wierd human sense though..... Maybe that's how the " negative feel" came from.......

But it is really an unfair assumption to think myself like that. There are many more people who are living in a harder circumstance than me right now. It is really unfair to label myself " pity"!! Maybe i just struggle to find another channel to express my unhappiness. That doesn't mean that i am negative minded. If think like that, I can realise that i am not an unhappy person, I am just a person who want to express my problem to others. That's all.

" You Think, Therefore you are." That's a word which i learnt from my friends. And lately i study the book " Law of Attraction". I even more agreed with such assumption. And believe it or not, there IS a law of attraction which surrounds us. Everytime our mind will exert one frequence once a time. Whenever we are feel depress, we only exert negative frequency, which will eventuall absorb negative things into our energy field. So we just to need to change the channel to positive frequence, we will experience the different results.

Our mind is just like a radio. Our antenna will only absorb frequencies which we are thinking on our mind. Weather is positive or negative. Well to me. It is hard to always think positive. So to me, let's just be ourselves and live with a happy mind. And if we encounter the problems, the law can be carried out and be applied. And we think positive is not a job which is telling lie to ourself, (If we think like that we only will exert more negative frequency..) It is just like yoga, which help us cleanse our mind and be ourself again....... Wait what was i babbling about...?? Got problem go sleep la. Get a moment of eye close.. Zzzzzzz...........

The decision is final. Maybe......

Jimmy said to me this afternoon, that the application outcome for Nanyang Technological university has released. I was full with hope and suprise, that the day of decision has come. So with full hope i go to online and check the status. And the statement really bother me then....

" Your application is still under consideration, The application result will be notified as late as July 2009"

Say WHAT???? Jimmy already get the result already and i still haven't know yet?? That means... I now is competiting with other university entries holders within the region di like Vietnam, Thailand, Indonesia........We Malaysia already have 4 different test holder like UEC, A-Level, STPM,Australian Matriculation pun ada! I just so like "omg!!" Is it that my chance is over? Or i am in the secondary consideration list.....??

Even i manage to enter, will i manage to survive? Or will i end up suicide there? (Choi!! Touch WOOD!!.........)For those reason, willing or not, i may go to study at utar........ My friend give me a thumb down for my decision, say that :"U deserved better university", "U can take the HELP or MMU, "U should wait for the local university!! Or u study form 6 for what..??".....etc The wave of rejection is huge, and i so like " Man!! Money oso give liao, what to do....??" Till KJ gt confort me, gt stand up for my decision. (Thanks for that. Hehe.......) I think my plan is like that For May and June then, and here's what on my mind......

First 2 weeks of May: Go KL training
Last 2 week sof May: Go out and hang out with friends
May 28th: Back to KL for Utar entry registeration
May~July: Study at UTAR while wait for application outcome for both local and Singapore university

That is my plan 1st. It still might change with the trend. See what will happen at May till July........

Busy...? Lazee....?

My friends usualy will ask me a simple question:" So how are you doing lately." And my reply is tat i keep leisuring at home. I couldn't refresh what am i doing for past few weeks. But then, my parents keep nagging me that i does not spending time at home very much, keep go out and come back late. Well the statement is true.... And now.. I try to list some new and crazy things i have experienced which i can remember...

1. There is one night i come back home at 2am midnight because i watch midnight movie with friends.

2. I drive as far as Nibong Tebal and Kepala Batas for 1st time

3. My first car accident ever since i start driving

4. I go to Kelantan 4 times in a month. (And my first driving experience at Kota Bharu.)

5. First time i witness hyperactive children and how they behave

6.There is one time i go out from home at 9am morning and come back home at 11.30pm night. (Realy crazy though..)

7.I witness 3 car accidents in a month (Is it luck or.......??)

8.My first hill hiking at Bukit Tekun ( I never know it located near my house....!!)

9. There is one time i go watch 3 movies in 3 days continuously.... ( Gee what a waste..!)

10.There is a week when i fuel up my car twice a week! ( And i have a big explanation for my dad)

11.There is a week when i only spend my time having dinner with my parents only once in a week.

12. I have passed through USM branches at Kota Bharu, Penang and Nibong Tebal di......

13. I have written 6 English essays in applying scholarships...... ( I get bad temper that time because of that..)

I now start counting the holidays left on my hand. I won't get as much leisuer time as i want to later di... I now start to tresure every moment i have on my hand. Hope that i won't waste it again...

Horray for Single!!

Today is valentine day.

Bt i still have to work.

And i am sick right now.

I straight go into the aircorn room

and i straight headache, dizzy, coughing.....

My green mucus split all over my hand and face when i make a big sneeze!

And what make it more miserable is that time

i was driving and without any tissue around!

And forced to mop it away with parking coupuns!!

I was so sick a few days ago till a child pity me

and give me a tissue while i was marking paper!

So do i deserve a raise in salary!!???

sob sob......

But anyway, i leave early today. Coz today got school for all of the children......

So like i just said

today is valentine.

But to me,

today is more like a disaster time......

Or the time i shouldn't show up to anywhere.......

Couples will be circling around my eyes.

And that is PROHIBIT, a no no to me!!

I am still single yet! No way no way!!

They want have fun, so be it!!

But GET OUT OF MY EYES!!!!

NO NO!!

Hahahaha.........

If someone dare to ask me how i celebrate valentine.....

the next second they will have to busy collecting their broken tooth

and yelling with pain.

hoho............

...............................

I not care, actually......

According to my record,

all the girls i like before,

eventually all got boyfriends.

Even some of them turn out to be my friends.....

And all the relationship i met before,

all encounter triangle love........

3 out of 4 straight.

It already happen to me as a curse......

I already feel normal to such sadness di................

..............................

...........................

But no matter what , if i found one,

I will treasure it.

Because this will be a hard-earn gift i get

after i struggle against this curse for so many years.....

So have i found one di?

I keep quiet myself.......

.........................................................

................................................

..................................

As long as i didn't put my blog address at my msn,

nobody will know how i feel.

hahaha.....

Anyway jia you jia you........

Happy Valentine and happy single......

Mengkuang Morning

Yesterday, Jimmy invite me to have a morning run at Mengkuang dam. (Said want to practise the stamina) I was really shock when he call me yesterday night. Then an idea come through my mind....(Why not take some picture of some lovely nature?) Ok then, off the way i go, with a camera on my hand.....



But today, i little oversleep, I rush to my car and race o the Mengkuang. ( I don't want to miss the sunrise!!) Then luckily , when i reach here, the sun haven't rise yet. So i just an get some snapshot on the beautiful scene!



So here's some of my little masterpiece. Hoho.......

Anyway, it is just a portion of my collection. ( I feel like little "sampat" to myself, mengkuang only ma.........Nt special wat. Aiyo........)

Anyway save the enviroment and learn to love mother nature. Or the next time all we can find is notting but pollution.

不好动的新年

今天是大年初二了。我不说时间真是过得真快。

奇怪为什么我现在才打吧？

真的我最近真是没mood打。

尤其是用这南极星打，真是打到出烟。。。。

ahem......话说回来。我这次不像往年，我这次留在BM过年。

最远跑到槟城。

做什么？

Shopping shopping shopping.。。。。。

真是又要出烟了。。。。

我说要去 Bukit Bendera or 植物园。

Butterfly Park or Bird Park also okay what.

At least special ma!!

Why Queensbay? Why Gurney? Why Sunway?

I go there many many many times already!!

(除夕那天我一家四口只在Sushi King吃团圆饭。。。。。)

真的我的新年超平凡的。

(对了，我和我的亲戚这次不能收红包。原因不便现在透露。。。。。)

Ohya today i go to Gurney, and then go to eat outside the mall.

Also not to forget to have a breeze of cold air of the seaside......

Well looking around,

the surface of seaside is full with dirt.

maybe the tide does not rise right now.....

I saw lots of family hanging around there.

And also not to miss some sweet couple hanging around.

I also heard children screaming with excitement.

Playing bubble gun, playing small kite, some also not playing nice.......

The first thought that flash through my mind is

" Man how long i haven't been here?"

Why these familiar scene looked not so familiar to me right now?

Staring at those children, my sis said to me:
" If we only have a little sister.......".
"And you so gonna be sorry then. haha.........."

Ai......the satay i ate just now produce gastric gas on my stomach..

Not feel so good~~

Please don't wondering why i shift to write in English instead of Chinese.........

I really s**ks in pinyin...........

谁来救救我......

我的心有很多话想说，可是不知怎样说出口。。。。

最近的生活可谓：“闷闷闷！！”闷到发傻！！总之，我这次新年肯定少了过年的气氛。这次新年也不会出远门。我的家将成为我慢长的“避难所”。

我的“红包”也早就收到了。一个是我这半个月的薪水(讨厌还真的蛮少的。。。)，一个是我朋友寄来的自制的贺年片和对联。(说真的还不知怎样谢谢他，如果不是照相机的 usb connection有问题，我早就放在部落格了。感激不禁，感激不禁。真的意义深重。。。)

对了，我打工时忘了放 parking coupun,(周一至周五是要放的，而我当时周五打工。) 中SAMAN!! (RM35就这样bye bye了，最近钱太好赚了。。。。)这也是我的新年的另一份“大礼”。。。。。我上班迟到了才忘了放的嘛！半个月的四份之一的薪水就这样没有了。他们跟本就是在打击穷人嘛！！现在经济不景气，他们这样做根本就是在踩人一脚嘛！！他们已经吃掉了我一个星期的午餐了！！过份！！！！(好久没骂人了。。。。)

总之，最近做什么事都提不起神来。真的生病了。。。。。。。