I now feel tired and depress Mr. Diary. You see, I didnt get a enough sleep lately, and apparently I cant get my things done in a positive way. Like in rental problem, I think i am not good enough to handle and become a burden of everyone. That's what i dont want to happen. In club activity I cant contribute any much as I am not skilled enough. That's what I dont want to happen. And apparently I have keep a promise for someone and for some reason I like to tunggal the reason a lot. And that's what I dont want to happen. A friend of mine is birthday this moment. I greet her and she didn't reply. I dont want to post at facebook wall because I feel that's is not I want to do. And I dont want to know any clue what is she up to now because I dont want remind that anymore, and that 's what I dont want to happen.

You see Mr. Diary, I feel like I am a failure. I study a year slow than my same age friends now, I cant make a frim decision when i want to decide. I cant find a good topic to laugh when I was stress like now. And apparently I am not good and failure. But even so I not willing to give up. Because that's what I only left even I lost the whole world. I am not good but I always want to keep things right. That's what i always fought for and not letting go. Because Christ is leading the pathways. He always make me feel that I am here..

But still, I am not happy. It is almost 2 years di. I still cant understand why i cant let go. Maybe I already let go long before, but i just keep collect it back. And yes, I am a bullshit. But again, I wont give up. Because that's what i am left.